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Candice Floyd: Independent Diva

            By observing her life in 2013, you would never know the things Candice Floyd has been through. Her smile is contagious and she lights up any room she walks in. She is a wise, beautiful, and talented diva that took the jealousy of her peers and family and used it as motivation to do everything to the best of her ability. Her “go-getter” attitude has gotten her far. With a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and her own private practice that opened in May 2013, she definitely has proved them wrong. She explained to me, “No one can steal my joy, because I know where God has brought me from.”

            Candice grew up in a small town in Tennessee. Her mother was very strict and she had a relationship with her father until she was four. Being the middle child of 3, she was torn with no one ever knowing. Her big sister was always in control and her little brother always got what he wanted. “I was going through the middle child syndrome”.   She described her home as a two-parent household with her mom and stepdad. She is very family orientated and her family is close and supportive and carried out a name of greatness.

            Although Candice had many female friends and was considered popular, she still had enemies that would dislike her and say things because they felt she thought she was better than everyone else. This bothered her more than many would ever know and she began to think she was not beautiful. She struggled with her weight and not fitting that image of a skinny, light skinned, and long haired girl.  She hung out with boys, who she were like her brothers, because girls had an issue with her.

            When she graduated from high school in 2003, she went on to Northeast Mississippi Community College in Booneville, Mississippi. Although psychology was not in her plans at the time, she went in hopes of becoming an educator and teaching French. She minored in journalism. She realized this was not for her when she took her French class and failed it. She told me it was the only class she failed. She did not know what to do since her dream of becoming a French educator did not seem like the right fit.  Throughout school she always felt she had a learning disability, because she would have to read paragraphs four or five times to get an understanding. She put her faith in God, cried and prayed to Him about it and asked him to show her where she was needed.

            The next day, with psychology and therapy being the last profession in mind, she attended her psychology class. She sat in the front as she usually did, with the room crowded from wall to wall, and listened to her professor’s lecture. She suddenly realized this is what she was supposed to be doing. She understood everything the professor was saying and it was easy to her. Even the professor told her psychology was for her because of the way she would absorb the information and give feedback.  She did just that.

            After completing two years at Northeast Mississippi Community College, in 2005 she continued her education at Tennessee State University in Nashville, TN pursuing her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. She graduated Spring 2008 with a Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology. In February 2009, her and her high school sweetheart discovered she was eight weeks pregnant.  Life was great! She always wanted to have kids and she was excited about the thoughts of having a family and becoming a mother. In April 2009, they found out they were expecting a precious baby boy who they would name Thailan DeWayne Davis.  Still pursuing education, she continued preparing for the arrival of her son.  While living in her dream and happiness she was suddenly hit with devastating news a few weeks later that their son was no longer breathing.  Hearing the news after just going to the hospital to only hear the sound of his heart beating took a turn for the worse and left them in a state of disbelief, but to hear that she was to give birth to her deceased son was described by her as a tragedy.  On May, 1, 2009 at 6:15 a.m., less than a pound, Thailan “Thai” Davis was born an angel at Baptist Hospital in Nashville, TN.  Although she lost her only son, which she would call her peace, she told me one of the proudest moments of her life was being able to experience being a mother and having a family with the one she has loved all her life. It was very bittersweet.

            Candice was hurt, but yet knew that her strength would come from the trust she had in God. She tells me “It is so hard to lose a child, and after Thailan died I went into a deep depression.” While in her grief stages, six months later the man that would always bring joy to her life was pronounced deceased. Candice’s grandfather, the one she would call in times of sadness besides God was gone. The pain was unbearable.  Candice attempted taking a bottle of pills with the intent of ending her life. Due to the circumstances of grief and emotional needs, conflict would later end the relationship of the love of her life of 12 years. She then began to drink heavily to ease and numb what was going on for her.  During these times she was working for an agency providing individual and family counseling for at-risk and homeless youth counseling her own clients , but deep down inside she needed her own help. She began to listen to the ways her clients would use negative coping skills to ease their pain. One of those ways was by cutting themselves. She says “I was like a zombie. I was there physically and could be present with my clients, but in my mind I was in a really dark place.” “My clients would not even notice and they trusted me.” She refused to let her depression keep her from helping others.  After work, she would just stay in the house and clean.

            While experiencing those unexpected tragic events, she continued with her education and completed her Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy at Trevecca Nazarene University in 2012. She decided to go into Marriage and Family Therapy, because she loves relationships and seeing love. She likes to see people in love and just overall loves to help bring out the great potential in others. She tells me she has never cried that much in her life and it was a rough journey for four years. At her graduation ceremony, she carried Thailan’s blanket he took his pictures in the day he was born throughout the graduation ceremony. After graduation, she had a reception and when she gave her speech, she dedicated her degree to Thailan and her grandfather because they were her motivation. They picked her up when she was down. She knew they would not want her to be like that but help others by being the author of her story to help someone else.

            When she first chose to go into psychology she knew she wanted her own private practice. She fulfilled this goal in May 2013, in memory of her son, Thailan DeWayne Davis, she opened Candice Floyd Therapy. The original intended name for the practice was Healing Hearts Therapy, because of her wanting to mend brokenness within the heart of others.  She does everything to keep their memory alive.

            Her first client at Candice Floyd Therapy was what she called a “textbook client”. She described what a “textbook client” was to me and her definition was the client you read about but never think you are actually going to be counseling. She was confident, but very nervous. This tested some of the techniques she had learned in her many years of school. Her client was a fourteen year old girl that suffered from very deep depression. She explained the session as very sad and emotional with many tears.  So then the question of does she cry with her clients came up. She then went on to tell me, “When I first started with my clients at the agency I was working at, I used to cry after sessions with them and carry those emotions home.  It is very hard at the beginning to separate your counselor life and your personal life.” Overall, she said it just felt good to know she was helping people in her own private practice. It was overwhelming and she was in disbelief.

            As a marriage counselor she knows something about love and relationships. During pre-marital counseling, her goal is to get the couple to break up.  For some that may sound crazy, but she says if they can be broken before obstacles of brokenness and possible marital conflict that may soon or later come as a stressor in the relationship, then maybe they need to go back and work on how to heal self first.  She told me the main problems that she has seen with married couples are over sexual dissatisfaction, income, infidelity, and communication. She noticed that men are very emotional, sometimes more so than women. “Men just want to be loved and women just want to be wanted.”  Her best advice for a successful relationship is to come into a relationship as your authentic self, whole, and not wear a mask.  Ask yourself have you dealt with your past and the things currently going on in your life. You have to date yourself first to get to know you before you date someone else, introducing to them the person without the mask.

            Candice has gone through many obstacles, but none have stopped her. Her over-the-top sense of humor, faith in God, family, and friends has gotten her through her darkest days. With the memory of her son and grandfather as her motivation, anything is possible for Candice Floyd to accomplish. That is why she has a special thing she thinks everyone should do. “Smile when you see people, you never know what somebody is going through.” “Love never goes out of style.”

Her praying with her grandfather

Her precious baby boy, Thailan DeWayne Davis